Occasionally in sport the story feels pre-ordained. Chris Ashton’s return to Twickenham always had the potential to be proper box office and, with all eyes on him, a stirring hat-trick of tries for the former England wing duly materialised. That it came on the same day England conceded a record number of points at Twickenham leaves Eddie Jones, the head coach, with a good deal to ponder leading up to his team’s three-Test tour to South Africa.
Ashton may not quite have been the best player on the field – that honour being thrillingly snaffled by the extraordinary Fijian wrecking ball Semi Radradra – but three tries and an assist in a spectacular first-half performance reminded friend and foe what he can do.
If there is a big difference between this kind of carnival contest and a full‑on Test, Ashton’s international exile in France could yet become a significant cause célèbre before the World Cup next year.
Nor can Jones entirely ignore the defensive statistics which showed his side missed 34 tackles and conceded nine tries, against opponents who had only three training sessions and enjoyed a 70s-themed party night – Ashton went dressed as a hippie complete with a moustache drawn in permanent black marker pen – instead of poring over lineout footage.
The Barbarians coach, Pat Lam, suggested afterwards he had videoed training because he feared some of his more social players might not remember it; either way the Baa-Baas were excellent value for their first victory in this fixture since 2014.
While Elliot Daly, George Ford, Piers Francis, Tom Curry and the young Worcester hooker Jack Singleton stood up pretty well amid the onrushing blizzard of black and white, some of their colleagues visibly found the pace too hot. Although England will be boosted in South Africa by 15 players who featured in the Premiership final on Saturday they are now without a win in their past four games under Jones.
It was a frustrating occasion, too, for Danny Cipriani, a relative spectator at full-back for his 53 minutes on the pitch aside from one lovely, try‑creating grubber kick.
Ford held things together gamely at 10 but a perfect opportunity to try Cipriani in his best position has now come and gone. Those who had cheered his name when it was read out before kick-off were left instead to applaud Ashton, Radradra, Josua Tuisova, Josh Matavesi and Finn Russell, who did their famous hooped jersey proud.
At times the scoreboard was rotating faster than a fruit machine; after 32 minutes the two sides had already shared a breathless 56 points between them.
It may have resembled oval‑shaped basketball occasionally but some of it would have graced the NBA.
Barely two minutes had elapsed when the Barbarians came storming out of their own 22 in the formidable shape of Radradra, leaving Chris Robshaw and Henry Trinder clutching handfuls of warm air. The equally imposing Tuisova then outpaced Mike Brown before lobbing the ball to Ashton in the in-goal area to complete the splashdown. As statements of intent go it almost recalled Gareth Edwards’s classic score in Cardiff in January 1973.
For his next trick Ashton produced something even cuter after receiving the ball from a bullocking Tuisova. A beautifully judged chip and successful chase later he had a second try in the bag as compelling proof of how his game has developed since he moved to the south of France.
The game was still not 25 minutes old when he collected a Russell offload and cruised past a helpless Daly to complete his hat-trick.
England needed to respond quickly and, to their credit, did so. Daly, temporarily enjoying the extra space at full-back, did well to shoulder his way past two defenders to score.
Francis also showed some intelligent touches, not least when clever work from Ford released the Northampton inside-back on a perfect line through a platoon of flat-footed Barbarians.
With a dazed Trinder making way for Cipriani, the fun was only just beginning. The visionary Russell, who will play for Racing 92 next season, again combined splendidly with an onrushing Ashton before taking a return pass to send the Barbarians into half-time leading 35-28.
Whatever Jones said at the break, it had no immediate effect, Radradra leaving Joe Launchbury sprawling before stepping Jonny May to score a try to underline just what a potent threat he could be for Fiji at the World Cup next year.
The Baa-Baas forwards also kept going to the end. Tuisova presented a try to Greig Laidlaw before the classy Victor Vito added a last-gasp try, allowing the Barbarians to form a guard of honour and invite the great Juan Martín Fernández Lobbe to conclude his hugely distinguished career with the final conversion.
For Ashton – “It’s a nice feeling, I’ll not lie” – this glorious romp will also be a fond memory for years to come.