This Six Nations is starting to feel like a slasher flick, with England ticking off their victims one by one. They are taking bloody revenge on everyone who beat them in 2018, Ireland last weekend and now France. This was another pitiless performance.
The idea France might surprise them, and everyone else, was shattered in the opening 60 seconds with a couple of nightmare tackles. Yoann Huget ran smack into both Vunipolas. He may as well have burst in on the Krays in the back room of the Blind Beggar. Then Guilhem Guirado was splattered by Courtney Lawes. Guirado coughed up the ball like he had been choking on it and someone had just whacked him on the back. Take that.
Jonny May hat-trick spearheads England’s crushing win over France
France were reeling already. And here came Jonny May and Elliot Daly speeding down the left wing, which seemed, all of a sudden, to have opened up in front of them as the French defenders scrambled to make their ground.
When Eddie Jones explained why he had picked Chris Ashton on the wing ahead of Jack Nowell he said it was because he had a feeling he would sneak the team an early try. Turned out that was a feint. It was not England’s right that landed on France, but their left instead. Daly slipped out of a tackle from Camille Lopez during a lovely, jinking run and then threaded a grubber kick through for May to chase. All he had to do was tap it down.
So just over a minute in, England were leading and there was already an irresistible feeling about which way the match was going, the result as inevitable as the black rain clouds coming over from behind the West Stand. The rain arrived midway through the half. It did not dampen England’s play in any way.
It was May’s 20th try for England, which brought him level with Ashton in eighth place on their all-time list. Twenty minutes later, May overtook him, just like he did all those defenders. His second try was made by Owen Farrell, who ran a cunning switchback and then threw a sweet 15-yard pass that left May squaring off with France’s young wing Damian Penaud. For a second they stood a yard apart, each watching the other and waiting for the draw. May twitched left, then right, and then set off on his left again. Penaud, who had been turned inside-out, turned the right way around just in time to watch him score.
The third, five minutes later, was the easiest of the lot. Morgan Parra spilled a high kick, Ashton gathered it, glanced up and then stabbed through a little chip for May to collect. So that was the hat-trick. It took him just under 30 minutes. It was not the fastest scored by an Englishman in the Six Nations – it was not long ago Jonathan Joseph took 17 minutes against Italy and Austin Healey scored one in 10 minutes against them too. But it was the first an Englishman had made in the first half of a match and the first for an Englishman against France since 1924.
It won May the man-of-the-match award, though he did make one conspicuous mistake. He missed a tackle on Huget in the run-up to France’s try. England are such nit‑pickers these days that you guess that error will be almost as galling for him as the tries were gratifying, because May is one of the players who seems to have responded best to Jones’s ruthless perfectionism.
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May used to seem like a bit of a headless chicken on the pitch, running this way and that, sideways and back, but he has grown into a ruthless finisher. He is a real roadrunner of a wing, now, always three steps ahead of whatever clunking traps Wile E Coyote has laid for him. “Jonny is one of the hardest working guys in our team,” Jones said.
He needs to be, Jones explained, because England have so much competition for places in the back three. Ashton was superb too, even if he could not catch a break. He almost scored once when he was clean through at the end of an overlap, but he fumbled Manu Tuilagi’s one-handed pass.
Ashton had another near-miss when he was chasing Farrell’s kick through, but he was hauled down by Gaël Fickou. England got a penalty try instead. But if May got all the glory Ashton’s all-round contribution stood out too.
England’s back three were a class apart from France’s but then Jacques Brunel had not done himself any favours when he decided to put a couple of centres, Penaud and Fickou, on the wings and a wing, Huget, at full-back. Anyone who wants to beat England, when they are in this form, will need to come armed with a better plan than that.