Live from Indianapolis, Indiana this is the Raw Deal…
First, though, let’s jump to Night of Champions a night earlier. I posted my recap exclusively on thejohnreport.net on Monday, so give that a look. It’s okay. You can read that first. This column will still be here when you get back. Go ahead.
We start the show with the NEW WWE Champion, Randy Orton. I was hoping we’d see a new title, but hopefully that’s coming if they unify the belts. I bet Vince thinks the spinner belt is still cool. Before Orton can talk, it was “Fella time” as Sheamus came out. He bitched about how the first time he lost the belt was in an Elimination Chamber and this time it was a Six Pack Challenge. He says he deserves to have the belt. Sheamus said Orton has never beat him while Orton fires back saying Sheamus has never beat him either. So there, fella! Email time from the GM: It’s Orton vs. Sheamus at HIAC in two weeks. I really hate that there’s a PPV in two weeks, by the way. Why does October need two PPVs? I’ll never understand. Sheamus said he wants the belt back. Orton says sure, take it. He takes it like a dumbass and then Orton hits him with a RKO to a huge pop. He left, then came back in and went for the punt. Sheamus moved out of the way. I thought it was a good opening segment. Sheamus has really developed a lot on the microphone while Orton’s staring gimmick works for him. He doesn’t speak a lot, which is fine. He does when he needs to. By the way, Orton’s winning at the PPV. For sure.
The Hart Dynasty were out for commentary, just DH Smith and Tyson Kidd. Where’s Natalya? She’s a better speaker than both of them. The story was Cole was ripping on them for having a lack of personality. He ripped them the entire time, acting like a heel. I guess The Hart Dynasty are now on the “Cole acts like a heel to them” list along with R-Truth and Daniel Bryan.
Cody Rhodes & Drew McIntyre d. Santino & Kozlov (1/2*)
The Dashing Ones came out to Drew’s music. Not a fan of that although it’s a good song. Use Cody’s music. Smoke & Mirrors, people! Honestly the match seemed like it didn’t matter because the focus was on Cole ripping on THD at the announce table for having no personality. It was weak. Cody & Drew won the match. They taunted THD and DH said they were holding the belts upside down. Cole ripped on THD saying don’t quit their day job as DH fired back saying “you too.” I’m not sure what they will get out of Cole ripping on these guys all of a sudden. Maybe it’s Vince sending a message to them? Who the hell knows?
Hey, there’s John Morrison doing push-ups. Exciting.
Backstage, Edge & Ryder were talking even though Edge says they aren’t friends. Zack was annoying like usual. Basically he’s a dumb, funny heel like Edge was ten years ago even though Edge was a lot funnier at it. Edge said he should be WWE Champion. Daniel Bryan, with a book, walked in asking them to keep it down because his character is to be something of a nerd. Edge said you can’t tell him what to do. Zack told him to read this and put an “L” up on his head. Yes, he’s 12. No high five from Edge, sorry Zack. Edge said he was angry and wanted a fight, so he challenged Bryan. Daniel said yes. Zack did the “L” again, but it was backwards this time and he was left to look at it himself. Amazing writing, no? This was fine. I liked the prospects of a Bryan vs. Edge match.
Here’s Chris Jericho. Good. On his Twitter he said he’d be in Calgary, so a lot of people (myself included) thought he wouldn’t be on Raw. They totally ignored the stip of him leaving if he didn’t win the belt. It was good to see him on Raw again. This morning on Twitter he claims he’s a heel, heels lie and stips don’t matter. I guess that’s a fine excuse. I’m not complaining. Whether he’s re-signed long term or not we still don’t really know. And yes I know what happens next week. Not writing about that until next week.
John Morrison d. Chris Jericho (**3/4)
They did this match two weeks ago. Morrison won that time too. It was given ten minutes and it did a great job in making Morrison look good. They went back and forth, the counters were pretty smooth and the crowd was heavily invested in the action. It was Smackdown-like in its greatness. The finish was really good with Morrison countering the Walls of Jericho, hitting the knee to the face and then hitting a perfect Starship Pain for the win. I know I complain about that move sometimes because he doesn’t hit it all the time, but this week he really nailed it and when it hits the move looks as good as any finisher off the top. Wins like this do a lot for a guy like Morrison. Let his in-ring work do the talking for him. Jericho’s future is a big question mark for a number of different reasons, so losing here makes sense. Hopefully they can capitalize on Morrison’s win with a continued push for him. He has been booked strong the last couple of weeks. More please.
Backstage John Cena is happy even though he got pinned by Wade Barrett a night earlier and he didn’t win the WWE Title. He’s happy that Orton won the belt. Shouldn’t he be mad about losing? I mean, isn’t the title important to him? Guess not. A weird promo.
The Miz came out to give an excuse for why he tapped out at Night of Champions. He said he had a tender Medial Collateral Ligament (MCL) and his doctors advised him not to compete because it might require surgery. That’s why he tapped out. In other words, he’s a heel giving an excuse for the loss. Works for me. He said “I’m The Miz and I didn’t tap out” even though he did. Heels lie! There was a hilarious sign that a fan held up a sign that said “My Name Is…” like the Miz shirt and said “I Tapped Out” for the name. That was very clever. Kudos to that person. I’d think it was a plant except I doubt WWE is that smart.
Edge d. Daniel Bryan and then Daniel Bryan d. Edge (*1/4)
It was hilarious before the match. They had Cole ask Miz to sign his WWE Magazine that features Miz on the cover. Sometimes I laugh at the Cole heel shtick. This was one of those times. Miz sat in on commentary. Daniel Bryan’s new music is “Ride of the Valkyries,” which is hilarious because it’s perfect for his nerdy tough guy gimmick. The song’s pretty famous especially from the movie Apocalypse Now. Watch it if you haven’t seen it. Edge’s face was great. Cole & Miz made fun of it too. Awesome. The match only went about 4 minutes. The action was good with Bryan making good comebacks. He’s fantastic at getting the crowd behind. Obviously. He knows what he’s doing unlike some on the roster. Alex Riley showed up. It should be pointed out that during commentary they had Miz say he had signed Riley to a contract to be his assistant. Why not say that he’s on as a wrestler? I guess it’s “creative” to not say he’s a wrestler? Sure. Anyway, he interfered, Edge hit the spear and won.
Post match, the GM wrote in to say that due to interference the decision is reversed. Bryan wins. Cole wasn’t happy about having to read that. Maybe this will kill some “Cole as GM” rumors. Edge was freaking out. He left. Miz & Riley attacked Bryan. It was a two minute beatdown with nobody helping out. The announcers were using SERIOUS VOICES~! to describe the Bryan beatdown. It did look pretty painful. In the attitude era they’d have used chairs here. Instead they used blows to the face that looked like hard strikes. Miz was great here. Bryan’s selling was excellent too. He looked legit out. I’m glad this feud is continuing.
Twitter plug. Check me out on Twitter at Twitter.com/johnreport where you can find me commenting on a lot of wrestling stuff, as well as anything else that may pop into my crazy mind. For example on Monday before Raw I asked for questions about an hour before the show. I answered about 45 of them. I had a blast doing it and will do it in the future. Sign up and follow me on there. I love interacting with other wrestling fans.
Unified Divas Title: Layla d. Melina (1/2*)
They are keeping the ugly butterfly belt I guess because they want to rid the word “women” from the company and stick with “divas” when talking about them. Apparently Michelle & Layla are co-champions. The match was two minutes. Michelle was on commentary, annoying us like usual. Melina went after her. She went back to Layla. Their exchanges weren’t great. Some sloppy parts. Layla was basically on the defensive the whole time, but she finished her off with a neckbreaker type move off the middle rope. It looked pretty good although it was shocking because she barely had any offense the whole match. I guess that ends Melina’s run as a contender. This was a vintage sloppy divas match.
Backstage, Jericho plugged his DVD. Out next Tuesday. I’m pretty sure I’ll get it the first day. Should I write a review? Let me know if you want one. Jericho said he got the IP Address of the GM and he’s this close to exposing him. Or her. Or it. Randy Orton walked in. He said they should have a match next week. If Jericho, the guy who loses all the time, wins he gets a title shot. Orton’s tired of him talking all the time, so he’s going to put him out for a while. That’s our main event next week, which is a taped show. You can find the results elsewhere.
R-Truth & Eve d. Ted Dibiase & Maryse (*)
The girls worked most of it. Eve pinned Maryse. Nothing exciting or noteworthy here. Post match, some romantic music played and a message showed up on the video wall saying “I will have you” with a heart in there too. Ted & Maryse just walked up the ramp to end the segment. This is creative writing at its finest. Maybe somebody can pass notes during chemistry class too. I guess this is angle development for the horrible Dibiase character. We’ll see where it goes.
Before the main event, Barrett stood on the announce table and said instead of a singles match it would be a gauntlet match because Cena said he wanted to face them one by one. Doesn’t the GM have to decide things like this? Whatever. It’s gauntlet match time.
John Cena vs. Nexus in a Gauntlet Match ended in a DQ or a WTF? (*1/2)
First up was Heath Wendy Slater. Cena pinned him with the Attitude Adjustment in two minutes. They went to break with David Otunga coming up next. They don’t have much faith in him as a wrestler. Otunga was on offense because his selling is poor. Cena won with a small package. Tarver was next. He’s even worse in the ring than Otunga. He tapped out to the STF about a minute into his match. He beat three guys in about 8 minutes basically. Just Gabriel was next. He got more time because he’s better than the other three. He worked about five minutes with Cena selling for much of it. Well, selling as much as Cena can. They did a good job of showcasing Gabriel’s athletic offense. It almost reminded me of that Evan Bourne guy that used to have matches on Raw occasionally. He was such a talented fella. Sorry, I don’t watch Superstars. Anyway, Cena came back, did the five knuckle shuffle and that was the cue for the run-in by the Nexus guys to end the match.
The Nexus guys attacked, but Cena fought them off. Barrett was bringing a chair in. Cena grabbed it and all five guys ran away. It was time for a promo-fest.
There was a long back and forth with Cena and Barrett. Cena made fun of the Nexus guys, using a cream and Twinkie on Gabriel (that’s PG!), telling Tarver to back to selling perfume, busting out the “Wendy Slater” joke that I had been using for months (you’re welcome again, JC), telling Otunga to keep mooching off his wife (good advice, really) and telling Barrett that he basically wasted his time with this Nexus idea. Then they made the match for the HIAC PPV. If Barrett wins, Cena joins Nexus. If Cena wins, Nexus is done. Aren’t Nexus a bunch of badasses that don’t play by the rules? Oh right, that was only about three weeks and then they had to act like every other person in the company. The match was agreed to as the show came to an end. It was a long show ending promo that was okay, but it took a while to get to the point.
In other words, the Nexus angle is done in two weeks. Cena’s not losing that match. I’d expect Barrett and Gabriel to stay on the main roster while the other three get sent back down to FCW for development.
Three Stars of the Show
1. Chris Jericho
2. John Morrison
3. The Miz
Worst Moment of the Week
R-Truth’s theme song. I actually miss “What’s Up.” Really.
6 out of 10
Last week: 5
I liked it better than last week. There was some solid in-ring action here. The Orton/Sheamus and Miz/Bryan interactions were really good too. The Cena/Barrett thing dragged too long and it’s basically signaling the end of the Nexus angle that at one point was really strong.
I love the continued push of John Morrison. Great. The guy deserves it.
They have really turned up the volume, so to speak, on Cole’s announcing. He now rips on some babyfaces like Bryan, Truth and the Hart Dynasty can be added to the list, but he loves the top faces like Orton and Cena. It’s hard to understand why some are ripped while others are not. I think Lawler does a bad job of being the “stop being so cruel” type guy too. I just think it takes away from the action a little too much when the announcers are all over the place. Either be total heel all the time or total babyface all the time. Being that way for certain guys confuses the viewer, I think.
Lastly, I know spoilers for next week’s Raw even though I didn’t want to. People message me with them. It’s hard to avoid. I’m not going to write about it until next week.
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