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Be the Reds

Posted on March 29, 2019

I never thought we'd see something more tedious than NBA free agent coverage.

I was really on board with this Germany team, so much that I had prepared a lecture about the inappropriateness of hating a multi-ethnic team representing a multi-ethnic democracy simply based on prejudices that nowadays have as much to do with "Fawlty Towers" as historical fact.

And then Yogi Love told his team to play gutless counterball, and we get robbed of what should have been a classic semifinal. How does a team chew up England and spit out Argentina, then chickencrap against Spain? Yeah, Spain is good – I guess. Anyone looks good when the other team gives them 70% possession. I blame that stupid octopus.

Perhaps the worst thing about the lack of offensive fireworks was how it reflected on the ESPN announcers…although Martin Tyler would be bored and boring covering the gunfight at the OK Corral, let alone a chess match played with checker pieces like this game was. Even the winning goal was wince-worthy – Puyol could easily have knocked Pique's head into the German net as the ball.

The bright side is, now we're spared yet more screeds about the Dutch reliving World War II in games against Germany.

Prediction for the final? Two teams loaded with some of the top stars on the planet, who have scored some fantastic goals. On the other hand, two nations celebrated for blowing big games such as this – truly, on Sunday, the resistible force meets the movable object. Plus, de Jong and van Bommel kicking everything in red/navy blue. I thought today's game was lousy enough to be the final, but never discount the World Cup Final's ability to annoy, frustrate, and disappoint. I'm feeling this will be decided more by a bad call than by penalties, but hey, we'll watch anyway.

You would hope that Holland wouldn't try what worked for Switzerland, seeing as how it has since then not worked for Paraguay and Germany. Don't give Spain that much of the ball, those guys can shoot.

Except, well, they didn't today. Germany had to blow corner kick coverage in order to lose. Slovenia probably would have beaten Spain today, at least given a Malian referee.

I'm just so disappointed by the abject lack of quality from this game, especially from the losers. So I'll go into the Final with my hopes on the floor. Either I'll be right, or I'll be pleasantly surprised.

By the way just to reiterate – Martin Tyler sucks. I know, I had four years to learn Spanish so I can watch the World Cup on Univision. I guess it's not too late to get Rosetta Stone or something.

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